We all wish to know the secret of being a calm mom – the kind of moms that we usually see in televisions, read in books and watch in animated movies. A mom who is always as cool as cucumber with a delightful smile on her face.
Well, let’s paint a very common picture of my everyday life here.
It’s a weekday.Monday, 8:30 AM.You are packing lunch and doing the dishes simultaneously. The preschooler is on the dining table with his half finished breakfast and mind full of queries- Mamma what are humans made up of? Why do we eat using our hands? Why do fish live in the water?
The toddler is opening all the drawers in the kitchen , taking out some of the groceries and some cutleries, he touches the closed container of the flour and alassss… The kitchen floor is full of flour dust. You are cleaning the floor and suddenly the preschooler comes to rescue his younger brother from flour dust and while coming he spills milk on the dining table. It’s the time when you should be out to drop the preschooler to the school along with the toddler.
You are late, you have to clean the mess and put a fresh pair of clothes for the toddler as well as you.
You are mad.
You lose it.
You stare at them with angry eyes.
You yell at both of them.
You want to run away from the chaos, but, there’s no one to take handover of your work. Your mess – you need to clean it up. Your kids – you need to handle them.
Your anger- you need to control that.
We all face such tangled situation in our life while raising kids and then we lose control over our mind and mouth. We yell, we shout , we say mean things and later, we repent, we regret of being a bad mom. The guilt wash is heavy on your heart and you spend the entire day blaming yourself for your instant reactions.
You are not alone. All the moms in this world goes through this feeling every time they yell at their kids.
Well, we can only try to control this little outbursts to become a better and a calm mom.
Let’s try few things for another 21 days to see the changes in the whole framework.
#GET UP BEFORE YOUR KIDS– Yes, you heard me right- like this, you may get some time to relax your muscles, stimulate your senses , have a cup of coffee and here you are- ready for the battle field.
#TAKE OUT TIME FOR YOURSELF– I’ve already mentioned in some of my blogs the importance of self time. If you ignore yourself while running a mommy life, you can never have a peaceful mind. Take out atleast say 15 minutes, do whatever you like or just relax on the couch or take a look at the surroundings and greens.
#TRY TO TAKE REST- I used the word “try” because I know it’s a distant reality but one can always try. Try to catch a power nap when the kids are sleeping. Rest whenever you can,forget everything else.
#DECLUTTER & CLEAN THE HOUSE- A clean house is one of the ways to a clean mind. Clutter results into a cluttered mind. If you can fit just 10 minutes a day to declutter the area that’s causing stress would be a major thing to overcome chaos. Cut down old clothes and broken toys into a carton. Involve the preschooler to help you here.
#TIME ALLOCATION/BLOCKING- We mothers are masters in multitasking but sometimes it’s better to concentrate on one job at a time. Make a routine and keep a separate time only for the kids, where you can just focus on them keeping everything aside.
#CREATE A COPING STRATEGY- It works, it really works. Creating a coping strategy will help you to get control on your mind and instant reactions. Try breathing exercise, counting, walking away for a minute, singing a song, using word of affirmation,etc.
#AVOID SCREAMING & WALK AWAY- Don’t scream, come may what. Screaming should be the last level of your reaction. When you scream ,it’s not only you, but your child too who lose control over his/her mind. Walk away. The best way.
#DANCE,LAUGH & SING WITH THE KIDS- Be a kid with them, laugh your heart out, be a part of their game sometimes . Put on some music and just dance with them, carefree.
#BE GENTLE ON YOURSELF– Don’t be harsh on yourself, trust me, you are doing a great job.
# BE APOLOGETIC- You lose your mind and you scream at your kids but do you apologise later? Do that – teach them to apologise for their acts, for being rude. This will only strengthen your bond with your kids.
#BE GRATEFUL- Be grateful for everything. Your kids will grow up in the blink of an eye and then you will miss all their mischievousness.
Being a mom is the most difficult job ever and it’s absolutely fine to lose control over your mind sometimes. We can always try to be the best version of ourselves by practising these simple ways.
A calm mind thinks positively and spreads positive vibes. A calm mind is happy and spreads happiness. A calm mother is happy and raises happy kids.