The importance of couple time as parents

How do you differentiate between couple time and family time after becoming parents? You don’t know, right? It’s not your fault, the trend says, it’s okay to neglect your partner while raising kids. But, to keep the tenderness of the relationship alive between you and your partner, it’s very important to indulge in some couple time. The benefits are endless and you won’t regret a bit of it.

Most of the urban couples live in nuclear families where they are either dependent on the nanny or one of the parents stay back at home to look after the child. In some cases, both the parents are working, while the child stays in a day care. In all the mentioned scenarios, taking out time for each other looks resilient. Also, the guilt factor of not being with the child always is chiseled somewhere in your mind and you try to spend as much time as possible with your child. 

While looking after kids along with managing the house and finances, you take no notice of each other, and then comes a day when you both discover that there is nothing habitual you both could talk about except the kids and the house of-course.

As kids, we have always appreciated the idea of our parents eating, laughing and dancing together, their giggles together would automatically brighten our eyes. We have adorned watching them as a couple. Then why are we not giving the same experience to our kids?

According to psychologist Pat Love, “Each and every day, parents experience the joy of making a child’s life better, more productive, and far more meaningful – all while doing the same for themselves.”

Here are few points to balance between couple time and parent time.

❖ Organise for “alone time” with your partner—  Take out a time when you and your partner could be left alone, it could be any time of the day, when the child is asleep, is in school or with the baby sitter. You can enjoy this time with a good conversation, watch a movie together or go out to a restaurant or do a common activity.

❖ Build your connection in day-to-day life— Keep connected with each other through out the day, think you are still dating and how you would keep your partner updated with your daily routine through messages or phone calls.

❖ Enjoy the small moments together— greeting each other in the morning with a warm hug and smile, a good bye gesture while leaving for work or a welcoming smile when you meet after work and check on each other’s day.

 ❖ Spending time as Family— Go out on dinners, holidays, drive with the kids, show them the importance of family time and how you both put in effort to bring smiles on their face.

❖ Do not shy away from being a Couple in front of the kids— appreciate each other, laugh with each other, and never ever neglect each other in front of your kids. Show them how sacred your partnership is and how much you value each other.

You need not have to choose between being a good partner or a good parent,maintain an equilibrium and you will find your locus for happiness. The act of balancing would make your marriage happy and your family happier.