Once you are a mother ,you be like ,there was no YOU before you had kids. The brittle nails with faded nail paints, the cracked heels,the undone eyebrows and the messy hair are never looked after now ,as all that concerns you is ,to be a perfect mother. The unwaxed legs and arms are restricting you to wear your favourite dress and you grab a pair of maternity pants and an oversized top ( yes ,you still prefer to wear them) to go to the nearby grocery store or for a evening stroll with your kids. You are waiting for the right time,right time to start exercising to get back to shape or to make a quick visit to the parlour but that right time never comes. The half read novel on the bedside table, oh yes ,you have no idea of the last read page. And like this life continues.
How the girl in you dies the day you become a mother, the wife in you takes a back seat ,who once loved to dress up and look pretty and slowly this becomes your indentity,your reality.
Why not? We have seen our mothers like this. That’s how mothers are,they have always been like this, loving ,caring and most importantly giving and selfless in nature. So, we pass the same message to our kids too, to our little girls that once they become a mother they should forget about self’ grooming and self care, to our boys that once they start a family it’s okay for your wife to ignore her self care and needs for few years. I say a big NO, self care and grooming is a basic need and every individual has the right to do it. So,the question is how to make this point acceptable and most importantly how to convince a mother that she needs time for self care too.
Firstly, we need to create an environment where a mother and her desires are not ignored while looking after a child. Initial years are equally important for the mental health of a mother too. Here a father can come into the scene, where he can look after the kids so that the mother gets some time for self.
Here are few things you can do for yourself while being a SAHM.
- A quick visit to the parlour on a weekend while the father looks after the kids, parenting is an equal job for both of you.
- Apply moisturise and cream after shower ,comb your hair twice a day. Make it a routine.
- Eat on time. You can eat with your kids too,that will make them more independent and also instil the habit of eating together with family.
- Indulge in some reading while your kids are taking their afternoon nap rather than being on the smart phone and getting lured by the pictures posted by your friends on social media.
- Exercise, spare atleast 15 minutes daily for your body. There are many exercises/yoga that you can do with your kids around. Google about them.
- While taking out your kids for a evening stroll,dress as your best. It will take 1/4 of the amount of time that you spend on your kids dressing.
- Keep yourself updated about the current affairs and your surrounding. Watch the daily bulletin.
- Make out some time for your partner after putting the kids to sleep. Indulge in some conversation with him,discuss about his work and if needed give him some suggestions.
Some small changes in your daily routine will make you feel much more positive and later when you plan to get back to work ,will surely help you.